Just in Jest.

“Are you Sam, son?”

“No”

“Ah, then you must be Sam’s son?”

“No. I am Samson, son of Sam’s son.”

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LOOKING INWARDS

I hope I do not mislead readers into thinking that this is an article on a spiritual matter…….there are many Great Gurus for that…. who write and talk about the Inner Self, the Real Self etc. Also I do not pretend to lay claims to any great psychological insight in the lines that follow. They are merely random musings of an ordinary individual past his middle age. I hope at least some of you will agree with some of the things I am going to say.

Most among us are quick to form opinions about other people’s attitudes; mannerisms and behavior in general, aren’t we? We love to engage in this pastime either singly, with family, or in groups. We can be quite merciless too when we form or create such ‘images’ of others. Though we have been exhorted to ‘judge not’, we do that all the time.

Over a period of time, these ‘images’ or perceptions of our friends, foes or relatives crystallize and lo!, we claim that we ‘know’ him or her very well!

Thus, in any society, we define so and so person as miserly, someone else as eccentric, another as greedy….and so on. Often a single adjective suffices to describe an entire human in the circles in which the individual moves! Of course we can also be quite generous with some others when we attribute many positive qualities to them and even fit some among them with sagely halos.

How fallacious! That poor person whom we claim to ‘know’ and whom we ‘define’ has not evolved painfully over many Darwinian generations to be judged, classified and filed away in society’s image cabinets so casually. In reality can anyone be ‘known’ so accurately even after several years of close association? Many facets of a person’s total personality remain elusive in casual friendships and even sometimes in more intimate relationships. As we have all experienced sometime or the other, there can be surprising or unexpected behaviour even from ‘well-known’ people. Often, unfortunately, such surprises- if unpleasant- can lead to ruptured relationships.

That in turn leads me finally to the main topic of this article…. How much do we know about ourselves?

The gut reaction to this question would be “Of course I know myself…I am like this,…. I am like that, and so on. But do others agree with this self perception?

Aah…There we have a problem, don’t we? Of course, what everyone does have is a self-perceived image of self as he fancies others to  be perceiving him! Alas, if it is put to comparison with the corresponding file images of society, results could be quite different, sometimes disastrous. Complicated, isn’t it? I could help by complicating further when I add, as you of course know, that each one of us has multiple images in society other than the self-perceived one. Images formed by the spouse, the mother, the boss, the friend, the sibling etc could all be different from each other and also from the self-perceived image.

The images formed about us by others are based primarily on how we act or behave in various situations. Since our response to the same stimulus varies depending on the place, occasion, person or persons etc, it follows that the images too will be different. That also would explain why the same person is a hero to some, an ordinary person to others, and probably even a villain to others. 

Then who is the real person behind all these images? Again I am not referring to the Self of the Spiritualist but only to the ordinary self. Knowing one’s true nature to any reasonable extent is possible only by one self……..if one is prepared to look within …and honestly acknowledge things as and when they are seen.

Easy, is it? Think again. Imagine you have an uneasy feeling after seeing someone. He would be a person you instinctively dislike for some reason. But your conscious mind may not be aware of the reason for your sudden moodiness. If you really probe in your mind for the reason, it is there…. His presence has affected you! But then how many times we acknowledge such feelings even to ourselves? Dislike, hatred? “No no, I can’t be like that!”, “Do I feel envious on seeing a friend’s latest model car? No, no… not me. I am not like that!”, “Do I feel attracted to that person….Certainly not, I can’t be a sinner!”

What happens is that our puritanical sense of right and wrong kicks in and we get shocked when we try to confront our real feelings. But then they are only feelings and they are there, whether you accept them or not. Feelings or thoughts do not come and go at your behest. They are always there whether you are a sinner or a saint. They are as much a part of nature as the cold, heat or wind. You can ask your child not to go out in the cold. You cannot issue an ultimatum that she should not feel the cold!  Similarly there should not be any harm in just ‘recognising’ those feelings without actually acting upon them.

Of course one should not act on such negative feelings. But one probably can actually benefit by an inner honesty where we boldly confront ourselves as we are. Yogis say that even the mere act of recognising or ‘observing’ certain undesirable feelings or thoughts can get rid of them. Also, many psychologists have discussed the danger of these pent up emotions bursting the dam of tolerance if left unnoticed. How can we apply the balm of our acquired wisdom to alleviate these miseries if we are not even aware of them?

As it has been said by the wise, the courageous man also experiences fear when facing a dangerous situation. The difference between the brave and the cowardly is simply that the former has learnt to deal with his fears. The same logic can be extended to the man who is labeled ‘good’ versus the man labeled ‘bad’. The good man has probably learnt better to apply the appropriate controls in the journey of life- to avoid mishaps.

Except for that difference, it may be well said that every one of us  is on a journey, the destination being the same. We are at different  stages, that's all.   

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IN A WHITER LEIN...OOPS...IN A LIGHTER VEIN

Elsie, a mild natured elderly lady was miffed with her husband about something and decided to complain to their family friend, Joseph- who, she knew would scold her husband. But being a true sishya of Spoonerism- like ‘hissing the mystery lectures’, ‘facing his wash’ etc- she could often get things mixed up while talking.

She complained to Joseph (who was hard of hearing) that George had “...spooned her pawns in order to gamble with the money”. 

Joseph was livid.

 “George, how dare you try to harpoon her for money?”

The absent minded George answered, “She is lying!- I hate prawns.”

God knows what Joseph heard, but he smiled, and patting George affectionately on the back, told the puzzled Elsie, “There! That’s settled then. The old boy won’t do it again.”

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THE DISCHARGE

Raju got an electric shock,

Went to see the local doc;

Doc took him behind a tree,

Made him sit on his car battery;

After some time, doc said,

“Now my battery is charged,

And you are discharged.”

But when doc submitted his bill,

Raju laughed to his heart’s fill;

Said:

“I charged your battery fully free;

Hence for me no doc’s fee.”

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THE CRICKET BALL

The doctor attending the young boy Ramu, looked up from his still shivering patient and said,

 “He will be alright soon- seems he was frightened by something- but tell me what happened?”

The other boys, who also looked scared, said nothing. They looked at each other.

“We have told these kids several times to avoid playing after sunset in the courtyard of that deserted house in the village corner….,” said Ramu’s mother and continued with a disapproving look at the other children, “…looks like they disobeyed us today.”

Then Dorai, who was a little bolder and outspoken than the others said, “Sorry auntie, we did play a little cricket there first time today… because there is so much vacant area there.”

 He paused and continued, “Suddenly, a woman appeared with a basket over her head, much like our vegetable vendor Parvathi aachi….and at that moment, the ball that Ramu hit went directly into her basket, just as it sometimes used to happen with our aachi…”

Dorai then fell silent and suddenly looked very pale.

“Don’t worry, child, pray continue; do not be afraid- we are all here now,” said the doctor kindly.

Reassured, Dorai continued, his voice tremulous with fear, “ Just as aachi used to do after a little friendly chiding, this woman gave a strange smile and then with a vicious look, threw out what we thought was the ball…. But it was.. it was a severed human head with blood dripping from it!”

Dorai now was shivering and sobbing while recalling the horror.

“Did you all see that?” asked the gathered elders, now very concerned, to which the boys silently nodded.

“What did you do then? Where is she now?” asked Ramu’s dad to which Dorai replied, “We don’t know, uncle. We ran away screaming. Ramu also ran back with us, but fainted after reaching home.”

  A small group of elders then rose and said, “We will go and investigate. Doc will be here to make you feel good again, kids”

But there was no one at the place where the kids had played; nor was any human head to be sighted. The group was about to return in bewilderment when one of them shrieked.

 The cricket ball was lying on the ground. It was soaked in blood.

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INTEGRITY AT THE WORK PLACE

 In many organizations there is a provision in the employee’s confidential report for his superior officers to rate the former’s integrity. Most often, it is required to just rate his/her integrity as ‘Above Board’ or ‘Questionable’. Needless to emphasize, rating as ‘Questionable’ would place a tremendous burden of responsibility on the evaluator to support this rating and call upon him to furnish proper justification and documentary evidence. Else, his integrity could be under a cloud!

The word ‘Integrity’ in the above context refers in the main to honesty and propriety in the employee’s official dealings and behavior vis-a-vis guidelines and procedures made by the company. Hence it follows that only such transactions which are tangible and offer themselves easily to scrutiny can be brought under the organization’s ‘integrity scanner’.

But does it really give the total picture of the integrity of a man at the work place? No, it doesn’t. There are many intangible but nevertheless clearly discernible qualities which go into the definition of a person’s integrity at work.

Integrity also implies:

·       Standing up for one’s subordinate when he is unwarrantedly harassed by one’s superior.

·       Not poaching a colleague’s or junior’s work to pass on as one’s own.

·       Acknowledging another’s merit and accepting one’s mistakes.

·       Protecting the dignity of a subordinate even while correcting him/her.

·       Praising in public and reprimanding- where required- in private.

·       Conveying disagreement or displeasure to the boss only in private.

·       Giving credit where due instead of ‘pilfering’ it.

·       Giving due respect- without being servile- to elders by age, superiors in rank and to all other colleagues in spite of differences and disagreements.

·     Being firm where required, though polite.

·     Never compromising on, or sabotaging work in spite of real or perceived injustice to self.

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The get together

One day, I happened to see a group of teenagers in our local club. Seeing one or two familiar faces, I casually walked up to them to see what they were up to.

“Hi uncle!” said familiar face.  I hi..ed back and asked him what was supposed to be going on.

“A get together, uncle,” said another slightly familiar teen with a bored look, and promptly lost interest in me.

 One of the boys seemed to be hitched or connected at the ear, head etc to many contraptions. I was alarmed as he appeared totally motionless. “Is he er… breathing? “ I asked one of them.

“He is listening to music, uncle!” answered one among them, in exasperation. The others looked at me wonderingly as if I was an inmate just escaped from Jurassic park.

“You said it is a get together!” I pointed out. “Yes it is, uncle, are you not seeing?”

What I was seeing was another teen, a girl, typing something feverishly on her ‘smart’ phone. She was ‘what’s apping’, I was coldly informed. A third one was chatting, another was chirping, all on their respective smarties. The gathered friends seemed to be totally oblivious of each other’s presence.

What was not happening-, as my Jurassic self could observe was- any tete-a tete, or communication among those gathered.

Before I left, I saw one poor young chap- looking lonely though in the middle of the group -armed with an outdated button mobile and apparently waiting for the others to be done with their activities.

Though it was none of my business, I was nevertheless tempted to ask, “What are you doing, my boy?”

Before he could answer, I said, “Oh I know! Get together.”  

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The Revelers

The Revelers

Nothing seemed to go right for Mathews that night. It was an unfamiliar route for the truck driver since he had never driven to Rodapur before. The lighting on this infernal State highway was very poor. Potholes and a dark moonless night added to his woes. Besides, he was hungry enough to eat a horse and there seemed to be no dhabas or other type of hotels on this God forsaken road. As he was cursing himself for accepting this job, he suddenly saw to his delight a modest wayside hotel which seemed to be still open though it was pretty late- well past 10 in the night.

There were only a handful of people at the tables. They seemed to be local gentry who had strayed in for dinner from the local liquor ‘bar’. The customary tough looking truckers were not to be seen. While the normally reticent Mathews was toying with the idea of enquiring why there were so few truckers and other travelers, the guy at the payment counter asked him, “ Surely you are not planning to continue on the road tonight, are you, pal?” Mathews laughed and said, “What else did you expect me to do? Sleep on the road?”

The counter guy, who appeared to be the proprietor sighed and said, “Well, you could always stay the night in one of our rooms…or even sleep in your own cabin. Anything- even sleeping on the road might be a better option than driving on that terrible stretch on this New Moon day.” Seeing Mathew’s quizzical expression, another guy continued the story, “This is the ghost revelers’ night and you could be in deep trouble.”

 “Never heard this bullshit before- what on Earth do you mean?” said Mathew irritably, eager to get going, now that his tummy was filled. He had a deadline to meet.

The man at the counter said, “I will relate the facts first: On a moonless night like this, a few holiday revelers were dancing in the open somewhere nearby when a drunken truck driver ploughed through them- finishing them all. I still have the newspaper which reported this gruesome accident, with their photos in it.”

The proprietor fished out the yellowing newspaper from below his desk but no one showed any interest, presumably having seen it already.  Then he continued his story.

“Many trucks have had inexplicable accidents on this route while climbing up a hill on the way to Rodapur- always coincidentally on New Moon days. The trucks generally end up in a deep gorge nearby here, where the hairpin bend is sharpest. Now for the gossip or rumor or whatever you want to call it: there are guys who swear to have seen a group of people dancing right smack in the middle of the road at midnight on moonless nights-believed to be the ghosts of the revelers. The accidents are said to be their handiwork -as a kind of vengeance against all truckers.”

As Mathews was about to reply, a new guy- who had probably just walked in- laughed derisively and asked the gathering, “Has anyone here seen this so-called ghost dance, eh?”  When no one replied, he continued to speak, addressing Mathews, “ Look buddy, don’t know who you are and what’s your business-but believe me, these guys are just scaring you silly just so that they can get you to occupy the hotel room--starved of guests you know, ha ha!”

“If I were you, I would mind my business and go on… ghosts indeed! Never heard such bullshit.”

But before Mathews or the angry proprietor could react, this guy got up and went out as suddenly as he had come. Mathews, fed up with the whole thing, got up and said, “I have a deadline to meet, so I am leaving.”

Mathews had hardly left when one of the guys who had been idly looking up the old photos shouted, “Stop him! Call him back immediately!” But Mathews had already revved up his engine and left by this time.

The guy with the newspaper was now shivering with fear. His hands trembled as he pointed to one of the photos of the dead in the newspaper. There could be no doubt that it was the photo of the new guy who had just left, after trying to encourage Mathews to proceed.

“Oh God!” screamed the late night patrons of the hotel as the proprietor scrambled to close shop and rush home.  

***

  The next day’s local newspaper carried an account of another grisly accident at the same spot. It was Mathew’s photo this time.

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Of Appearances and disappearances.

The respectable middle class restaurant was not very crowded that day. It was evening and my wife and I were among the few patrons at that time. Waiting for our food, my wife idly scanned the nearby tables for occupants.

“See how gruff looking that guy is!” she remarked at one lone huge guy next table as I hastened to hush her, lest he hear. The gruff guy also had a gruff voice and was giving staccato orders to the aging bearer who appeared a little harassed.

At another table there was a young decent looking pair of youngsters, who were very soft spoken and mild mannered. Soon, however, we forgot about them and got immersed in our evening snacks when they were served.

Suddenly, there was a lot of unusual commotion. The elderly bearer was standing near the gruff man’s table, though he was not to be seen. As we were wondering what happened, gruffie returned and said, shaking his head angrily, “The rotten fellows have bolted.”

From their talk, we could make out that the ‘decent’ youngsters had disappeared without paying their bill.

As the poor old bearer started sobbing that the money would be deducted from his salary, we were amazed to see the ‘gruff’ man patting his hand and declaring, “Bring their bill to me. I will pay.”

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The Masterpiece

Dannie looked again at the female form he had sculpted, in utter incredulity.

The statue was exquisitely beautiful- an amazing work of art.

 Dannie knew that he had finally made his masterpiece.

 He jealously covered his creation with dried branches, to hide this sensuous female from public view.

 She was too hot for display.

***

Dannie tossed and turned in his bed.

He started getting a recurring nightmare in which  he would  wake up in a cold sweat after a dreadful sequence, where he saw a handsome Gandharva (A kind of demi -god) spiriting away his masterpiece  after breathing life into her. The Gandharva would then sing and dance with Dannie’s beauty queen.

Feeling a powerful sting of jealousy, Dannie would then (actually) jump out of bed to chase the imaginary Gandharva away, only to see his sculpture safe where it had been. Dannie would then go back to sleep with an immense feeling of relief.  This happened night after night.

***

After several nights like this, Dannie decided he could not stand the strain any longer. Though this was only an absurd dream- probably because of his own over-possessiveness- he decided to take the form and shift quietly to another far-off place.

When he removed the branches and lifted the statue lovingly, it felt a little heavier than before. He quietly put it back and took a close look. Then he fainted.

There was a light but clear bulge at the abdomen of his creation.

The stone woman seemed pregnant.

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LINGUA-WOES

A Tamil gentleman nearly got clobbered when he appreciated the food served for lunch at his Telugu friend’s place. The poor guy innocently said ‘Pramadham’ which means ‘Excellent’ in Tamil, but unfortunately  means ‘Danger’ in Telugu!

‘Tamasha’ means ‘light stuff’, ‘Comedy’ etc in Malayalam, but beware if you use it flippantly with the Hindi speaking people. Indiscreet use of this word- which means a street dance or something in Hindi- is not received kindly by them.

The simple word ‘Avasar’- which also is a Sanskrit root word- means ‘Occasion’ in Hindi;  ‘Avasaram’  means ‘Requirement’ in Telugu; ‘Opportunity’ in Malayalam and ‘Hurry’ in Tamil!

There must of course be several such examples in the various languages ‘spooken’ in our delightful India.

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HOWZZAT!

HOWZZAT!

The irate parent had now been waiting for over an hour to see the teacher. He wanted to meet her to discuss something about his daughter who was in this class.

As time passed, he frowned and grew more and more angry. Finally, when the teacher arrived, he greeted her and added a bit testily, “What made you come so late? Wish you could have been a little more punctual.”

The teacher apologized for the delay. Then she sighed and added, “Wish someone would tell that to Mr. Venkatraman, the bank official I was trying to meet today.”

“By the way, may I know your name and for which student you have come, sir?” asked the teacher and looked on in puzzlement as Venkatraman, the bank official, suddenly turned around and disappeared without a word.

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What's in a number?

 Those days, Shakespeare used to write, “What’s in a name?... a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”. Now the appropriate expression would be, “What’s in a number…?”

For, all of us are being converted to numbers.

Man is trying to make robots increasingly like him, but Man himself is getting increasingly machine like, being ever increasingly identified by numbers. From PIN to PAN, human identity is being hopelessly enmeshed in numbers.

You have to remember a bewildering number of numbers to transact any kind of business today.

Remembering your name is probably going to be just optional in the future! In other words, the days of the ‘Name’ are numbered!

The numerologist never had it so good! The astrologer’s loss is the numerologist’s gain. Now people will probably go for marriage matches to the numerologist instead of the astrologer—“ Does my son’s number match with that of this girl?”

In Banks and offices, machines have taken over the function of identifying people… by numbers, what else! Gone are the days when you could walk into any office, say a bank, be instantly recognized and received with a warm smile (Come, come. Rameshji--- etc). Now the scenario would be more like this: ---“Welcome sir, your credit card number please, your debit card number please, your ---- number please”, and so on.

 In the event of not recalling any or some of the numbers, the machine refuses to identify you, or grudgingly tries to recall your identity through your name--- as a last resort!

I pray the Lord that HE may not yield to this number-ful temptation and start numbering our Souls! Imagine God’s PA punching feverishly into his laptop, yelling, “Hey there! Number 12345 is about to arrive! –he is breathing his last!” 

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Equilibrium

EQUILIBRIUM IN LIFE

Peace in Life is all about equilibrium.

There is an analogy in Nature itself.

Tranquility prevails in Nature so long as there is equilibrium…. i.e a balance of natural forces.

If there is an imbalance of air pressure, Nature brings back balance through hurricanes and tornadoes, causing, in the process property destruction, loss of lives and other calamities.

Earthquakes and resulting havoc are due to a shift in the delicate balance among the tectonic plates underneath.

Tranquility for humans also can be achieved only through equilibrium and conscious balancing in every aspect of life.

In relationships:

You need to identify your most important relationships...after all you have many roles to play… as a spouse, a son or daughter, a sister or brother and so on. You have to consciously maintain a proper balance (by doing tight rope walking, if required) to ensure peace and harmony in all these relationships and among your various roles. Tilting in any one direction (or even a perceived tilt) can cause emotional storms.

In desires:

Needless to say, a perfect balance between ‘want to have’ and ‘can have’, whatever be the nature of desire, is most desirable to avoid disasters of the physical, financial or emotional kind.

At work:

Many relationships have suffered at the altar of work, due to over diligence and ambition. Also, many careers have nosedived due to neglect of work for family’s sake.

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To make a small difference

To make a small difference.

Oh! To light a lamp at the altar of life; to bring some cheer to beings in strife.

In this context, I would like to share a beautiful anecdote I saw in the net:

While walking along a beach, a young gentleman saw an elderly man in the distance, leaning down. On coming closer, the young man saw that the elderly gentleman was picking up starfish painstakingly- one after the other- and throwing them back into the sea.

The young man, consumed with curiosity at this strange behavior, came closer still and called out, “Good morning, sir! May I ask what your grand plan is?”

The elderly man paused, looked up, and smiled, “Simple…throwing starfish back into the ocean.”

The tide had thrown up several thousands of starfish-struggling to breathe -on to the shore.

The young man smiled and asked again, “There are so many thousands of them…you can’t obviously save all of them. So what difference does it make, my good sir?”

 The elderly smiled again, and tossing yet another fish into the ocean, remarked, “There! I made a difference to that one.”

***

True, we do have the likes of Swami Vivekananda, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Abe Lincoln and so many others who have spent their entire life in the service of humanity. We also read nowadays about some inspired, highly educated young people who give up plum jobs in order to serve humbly in some rural area.

Obviously, not everyone can make such huge sacrifices since most have their own family commitments and other duties. Charity, as they say, begins at home. But like the starfish saving gentleman, every one of us can make small differences, at least, as per our capabilities. For example, one can decide not to drive such a hard bargain with the railway porter. Let him get a few rupees more than his due- his job is so tough! Or, one can restrain an impulse to bawl at the harassed waiter in a busy hotel. A trivial sum can often help a needy child to buy the school books or pay the tuition. There are so many ways to bring a little sunshine to a needy person’s life-and thereby to our own drab lives too.

Who knows, this kind act might dissuade someone from becoming a radical or criminal; another may be inspired to become a good Samaritan.

The touching poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson, defining true success, brings this sentiment out beautifully:

 “To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

Read again the poem’s last lines: “--To know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.”

What more needs to be said after the Guru has spoken!

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Appa Rao -A wonderful human being

Appa Rao-A wonderful human being

Appa Rao walked into our lives one day in the early 1990s when we were on the lookout for a Man- Friday to take care of my bedridden father.

Appa Rao introduced himself as the husband of our recently hired domestic help. Politely declining our offer of a seat, he plunked down and sat cross-legged on the floor, smiling at us. Being a dhobi by profession, he offered to wash our clothes, in addition to giving care to dad.

To be honest, we were a bit apprehensive at first. My work at the steel mill kept me away for several hours every day and that would imply leaving my young wife to deal with this robust middle aged man, in addition to my helpless dad and two young sons.

Appa Rao was tall, dark and well-built and probably into his late forties. He appeared to have the strength of a bull but his demeanor was gentle, reassuring and polite to a fault.

Our decision to hire him turned out to be among the best we had ever taken. In the twenty odd years of our association with him thereafter, we learnt a great lesson-that the bravest, gentlest soul can reside in a rough, unassuming exterior, troubled by chronic poverty.

My wife and I have not seen so many great human qualities built into one guy –and that an illiterate person who had never seen any school in his lifetime.

His commitment and loyalty were beyond comparison with anyone we ever knew. In all weather conditions, dry or wet, fair or foul, Appa Rao would appear at our door at almost the same time daily with his pearly smile. He took care of my heavily built dad effortlessly, attending to all his requirements and rituals without any annoyance or disgust. When dad finally breathed his last, it was the sobbing Appa Rao, who stood as an undertaker at the cremation ground- till ashes.

Incidentally, Appa Rao wore many hats so far as work was concerned. We knew this hard working guy as a dhobi, care giver, undertaker and even a bartender’s help. And he being essentially a dhobi, we could avail of his services even after dad’s demise.

Appa Rao’s Integrity was total and became legendary in the circles that he moved. Even his enemies had to grudgingly acknowledge that fact. Though he had six daughters to feed and marry off, he never took a single rupee or thing that did not belong to him. And temptations were indeed many. Even in our house, he could have easily knocked away at least a few rupees without our ever noticing because coins and rupees used to be scattered around. Our sons used to leave some coins carelessly in their trousers, only to be retrieved and handed over promptly by Appa Rao, when washing the clothes.

Once Appa Rao saw a man frantically searching for a gold necklace which had apparently fallen into the dust by accident near the liquor shop where Appa Rao was doing a part time job. Unfortunately the jewel could not be retrieved that day in spite of combined efforts of many there. It was Appa Rao who finally found it a couple of days later. Under the circumstances, since no one had seen him, he could have walked away with the jewel. But no way! He simply restored the necklace to the overjoyed owner, refusing any reward for his honesty.

Appa Rao’s fierce loyalty extended to his large family too,of course. Being dad to six daughters, he sometimes had a tough time keeping wannabe Romeos at bay. But knowing his no-nonsense approach and tough exterior, mischief makers were wary and kept their respectful distance from his family. During his lifetime, he was able to marry off every one of his six daughters,though it took a great toll on his health. He also had to depend on many loans and some help from well-wishers like us.

Talk of positive thinking or living, he was again the best we knew. We never heard him complaining about his plight or about the bone breaking labor he had to put in. He also seemed to have a wry sense of humor and practical solution to many problems he encountered, not only in his immediate family but in extended circles too. Once a teenage boy in their community was apparently ‘possessed’ by demons and was seen to be acting strangely. His family members, with their superstitious beliefs, were running to ‘witch doctors’, so to say, to exorcise the demons. Appa Rao, when he came to know, walked up to the boy and gave him a resounding slap. God only knows how, but the teenager snapped out of it!

Another admirable quality was his liberal,modern outlook on life, a rare thing for an uneducated man of his generation. When he found one of his sons-in-law to be a drunkard and an abusive wife beater, Appa Rao, after several warnings, took a stout stick and thrashed him, shouting, ‘Now get lost since you cannot change. I can take care of my daughter.’

How many educated Indian parents of old generation (or quite a few of new too) would have dared do such a thing? They will rather allow their daughters to suffer silently, blaming fate, destiny or karma.

The only weakness Appa Rao had was for the occasional ‘bottle’ of country liquor (And he had been frequently lectured to by my wife for that!). But he never harmed a fly, leave alone his family, under the influence of liquor.  

Alas, neither Appa Rao nor his faithful wife is alive today. It was a great personal loss to us when this karma yogi passed into eternity, after a brief illness. His wife, unable to bear the separation , went soon after.

Integrity, Commitment, Loyalty, Simplicity, Gentleness, Strength(both physical and mental), he had them all. What more to expect in a human being? That’s why, if there be any single person to whom I would bow my head in reverence, it is Appa Rao.

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