Renu woke up in a cold sweat on hearing the alarm.
She was thankful that her nightmare had been disrupted by the faithful alarm.
She had been dreaming that a snakes and ladders game was going on in which she
was the coin moving up the ladder and sliding down a cow instead of a snake.
Hearing some commotion outside her fourth floor apartment,
Renu idly opened the door to have a look. There seemed to be some house warming
ceremony in progress in an apartment on the same floor. Loud mantras were being
hurled by energetic purohits to discourage bad spirits and drive away ghosts.
Suppressing a yawn,Renu was about to close the door to start her daily routine
when she saw her in the yet dim sunlight- a healthy well built cow.
It seemed to be Renu’s day for cows. She had been
sliding up and down a cow in the nightmare and now here was another one in
flesh and blood, brought obviously for the housewarming.
She looked at the cow with trepidation. The cow also
glared right back. The poor animal had every reason to be upset, having been
rudely awoken and dragged up four flights of stairs in the wee hours, but it was
quite unreasonable to hold her responsible for its misery, thought Renu,
unaware that the cow was seeing red in her flame colored maxi. That was the last straw for the much harassed
cow.
The cow was now scratching the ground with its
forefeet, a cow’s battle-cry equivalent of the conch or trumpet, used by humans.
Within seconds, before Renu could bolt back inside, she charged at full speed.
“Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeee…..,” shouted Renu as she took off
at jet speed in the corridor, wondering even in this predicament how her flat
feet could be so fleet footed? Though she had the initial advantage over the
cow in the race, Renu found herself cornered when they reached the end of the
corridor. As Renu looked for escape options, she could have sworn that there
was a triumphant ‘got ya’ type of grin on the cow’s face. Then she spotted the
elevator and pressed the button . But the moment the doors of the elevator
opened, in rushed the cow, before Renu could react. As she gasped in horror,
the doors slowly closed, with cow inside.
Even before Renu could recover from the shock and
collect her wits about her, she saw a fat,silk sari clad woman approaching ,
obviously to the elevator. The sari was rich red in color.
The silk mami looked haughtily at the Renu. Her nose
crinkled in contempt at the maxi clad Renu.This woman, who was probably on the
way to a wedding was quite obviously pleased with her own rich appearance.
When Renu,still speechless in shock, tried to block
her way, Silk sari asked impatiently, “What do you want?”
“k..kkk…kkkk!” said Renu, helplessly. “What do you
mean, “kkkkkkk…. Now move out of my way!” said mami and pushed the button.
“ Cow!” roared Renu finally and just had time to see
Silk sari’s face which had reddened on being addressed as cow. But Renu, who
knew what was coming ,didn’t stay back for any more explanations. She fled from
the scene, to avoid scenes of blood and gore and having taken shelter in her flat,
watched the proceedings from a safe position.
“Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!……..” shouted a now
familiar voice as the silk sari lady ran at jet speed, past Renu’s flat, her
precious sari now hitched up very unladylike. The cow, which had suffered the
additional ignominy of being shut up in a mini chamber, was now in a very bad
mood indeed.
But Renu couldn’t help admiring the fat lady. If
Renu’s flat feet were fleet footed, so were Mami’s fat feet. She ran up and
down the corridor, screaming at the top of her voice. The priests, who had just
finished driving away the spirits were appalled that one was probably missed.
Silk sari ,however was giving the cow a run for its money and would probably
won all the rounds, but alas! she slipped and fell over some cow dung in the
corridor. As she got up trying to salvage her pride and her precious sari, the
owners of the apartment where the function was going on,came running to her
rescue.
All ended well like in Holly and Bolly wood movies.
The militant cow was whisked away, after assuaging its hurt feelings. Silk sari
mami,who had missed her wedding feast was invited to lunch by the house warmers
,(after washing and changing, of course). Renu got herself a new friend that
day.
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